Art of the Artless
When you ask me why my walls are gray,
I'll say, "But mama, I grew up your way."
-Katrina Brown
Showing posts with label Private Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Private Musings. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Read Me II
When you ask me why my walls are gray,
I'll say, "But mama, I grew up your way."
-Katrina Brown
Read Me
Adults Racing the Modern Child
We
Used
To
Have
Time
To
Ponder
Wonder
Discover
Dream
Now you cram it all in a minute, an hour, a day, look it up, write it down, complete page fifty, and one-hundred-and-three, get dinner in you, wash and then rinse, and repeat after me.
We
Are
The alarm clock ringing, the exam looming, the pressure building, the smile fading.
You are the future we're building, the money we're making, the hope we are keeping.
Maybe you need
Some
Time
For
Your
Dreams.
by Katrina Brown, with critical thoughts by Hannah, aged 7
Monday, June 20, 2011
End of (An Academic) Year
What on Earth I am doing up posting at 1am I don't know. Maybe it's the anticipation of a trip back to New Zealand, maybe it's the thought of packing, maybe it's the laundry laughing at me from the corner of the room. Maybe I am just enjoying another evening without pain after having my tooth fixed (which has been affecting me since May last year). Whatever it is, I could reflect a bit on the academic year of living in our cottage and the kids attending school.
Hmm, what is a mum to say? Hannah no longer eats only the chocolate options at preschool, but eats things "that look funny, too". Kyle has started rebelling against homework and independent thinking. Hannah can add up numbers under five, Kyle can read and write stories in Chinese. Hannah volunteered to be in the Graduation show, Kyle got to read the farewell to sixth-graders speech by himself in front of the school. Hannah likes to do her hair in the fashion of Crystal Bowersox, Kyle likes to dance like the guys in "America's Got Talent". Hannah helps me find the coffee at the 7-11, Kyle gives me a lecture on the poisonous chemicals in bought drinks. Hannah gives me massages. Kyle finds my phone when it rings.
As for me, I have had some success with the herbs but not the vegetables in the garden. I can now manage to put together something for guests to eat and drink from our selection. The dog is still alive, the goldfish are dead. I've almost managed to give my inlaws their rooms back, but not quite. I'm putting together some goals for the next academic year, in general terms of being a better housemanager, getting healthier, and making more money. First there is a summer to get through, though. I do want to add, that the last few days I have felt really well, which makes me realise how unwell I had been the past few months. I guess that is what happens when health slowly slips out of you. And it is amazing how the tooth affected my whole system. Dad used to tell me that was how people died young, and now I can see what he was talking about.
Seeing as that is about as reflective as I can manage, I will stop and get some sleep. Let's see what the beautiful morning will bring.
Hmm, what is a mum to say? Hannah no longer eats only the chocolate options at preschool, but eats things "that look funny, too". Kyle has started rebelling against homework and independent thinking. Hannah can add up numbers under five, Kyle can read and write stories in Chinese. Hannah volunteered to be in the Graduation show, Kyle got to read the farewell to sixth-graders speech by himself in front of the school. Hannah likes to do her hair in the fashion of Crystal Bowersox, Kyle likes to dance like the guys in "America's Got Talent". Hannah helps me find the coffee at the 7-11, Kyle gives me a lecture on the poisonous chemicals in bought drinks. Hannah gives me massages. Kyle finds my phone when it rings.
As for me, I have had some success with the herbs but not the vegetables in the garden. I can now manage to put together something for guests to eat and drink from our selection. The dog is still alive, the goldfish are dead. I've almost managed to give my inlaws their rooms back, but not quite. I'm putting together some goals for the next academic year, in general terms of being a better housemanager, getting healthier, and making more money. First there is a summer to get through, though. I do want to add, that the last few days I have felt really well, which makes me realise how unwell I had been the past few months. I guess that is what happens when health slowly slips out of you. And it is amazing how the tooth affected my whole system. Dad used to tell me that was how people died young, and now I can see what he was talking about.
Seeing as that is about as reflective as I can manage, I will stop and get some sleep. Let's see what the beautiful morning will bring.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
What a Week!
Sick kid, runaway dog, disorganised business, school pick-ups and classes... it's been quite a week. I should be pushing ahead with class preparation and organising product descriptions and lists, but I really wanted to update the family about life here. So, here goes, the power-post.
Dog: Skippy is a great dog, really. He just has this really really REALLY bad habit of running off when we are not paying attention. He has found the chicken farm and restaurant down the bottom of the hill, which means at least I know where he goes. But, having a dog hang around the prep area of the restaurant is not ideal, especially as in Taiwan it is habit to prepare food like raw chickens on the concrete ground outside. At least Skippy likes his doghouse and will settle down in there for the night. For a dog with three legs, he sure can run fast!
Hannah: My little girl has been home for the week, with a throat infection and fever. She is actually well on the mend today, and will have to come to school with me in the afternoon when I teach. There is nothing like a child at home to put constant interruption and chaos into a day. Everything around me is suffering. But, at least she can stay home and get better. When I think of all those parents still looking for their children in Japan after the tsunami, I realise how terrible it is to think "I wish I had some time alone." We are so lucky to have our children by our sides.
Kyle: This morning, Kyle is off to compete in an inter-school dance contest. Dad was a bit late getting him to school and his poor teacher called me in a panic. I reassured her he would be there. With such small class sizes, your child becomes a very important of every team, group, and community he or she joins. I think this is a really good thing when the children are so young, to feel needed and not easily replaced.
Kyle is also in the school percussion group, which will perform in April. He wasn't happy about it as the teacher gave him the cymbals. This week, the child playing the big drum didn't want to play anymore, so Kyle got his dream of playing the drum fufilled. Now, he LOVES percussion group. On Sundays, Kyle goes to table tennis, and that seems to be going well, too. The biggest challenge of all is for his mum to remember where he needs to go and where. Again, the positives of a small school come out. All these activities are free and taught by professional teachers/coaches from outside the school.
Business: It seems to be picking up a bit, which wouldn't be hard compared to last year. If only I had hours at a time free to think and arrange and update and promote. With kids around, you only get a minute or so before someone calls, which makes it hard to sit down and really concentrate on the hard stuff. With Richard going on a 10-day business trip recently, both kids sick (one after the other) and now Richard having to spend Saturdays at the car repair shop to fix his van (involved in four-car crash), as well as traveling to the inlaws' two days a week, I'm really running on the reserve battery. I often think of that line that became the slogan for bullying: It only gets better. Maybe tomorrow, I will get to sleep in after 6am, go to sleep before 1am, sleep all night or at least three hours straight without an interruption, or even go out alone. If not, at least I have people big and little in my life who need me. And a dog...
Dog: Skippy is a great dog, really. He just has this really really REALLY bad habit of running off when we are not paying attention. He has found the chicken farm and restaurant down the bottom of the hill, which means at least I know where he goes. But, having a dog hang around the prep area of the restaurant is not ideal, especially as in Taiwan it is habit to prepare food like raw chickens on the concrete ground outside. At least Skippy likes his doghouse and will settle down in there for the night. For a dog with three legs, he sure can run fast!
Hannah: My little girl has been home for the week, with a throat infection and fever. She is actually well on the mend today, and will have to come to school with me in the afternoon when I teach. There is nothing like a child at home to put constant interruption and chaos into a day. Everything around me is suffering. But, at least she can stay home and get better. When I think of all those parents still looking for their children in Japan after the tsunami, I realise how terrible it is to think "I wish I had some time alone." We are so lucky to have our children by our sides.
Kyle: This morning, Kyle is off to compete in an inter-school dance contest. Dad was a bit late getting him to school and his poor teacher called me in a panic. I reassured her he would be there. With such small class sizes, your child becomes a very important of every team, group, and community he or she joins. I think this is a really good thing when the children are so young, to feel needed and not easily replaced.
Kyle is also in the school percussion group, which will perform in April. He wasn't happy about it as the teacher gave him the cymbals. This week, the child playing the big drum didn't want to play anymore, so Kyle got his dream of playing the drum fufilled. Now, he LOVES percussion group. On Sundays, Kyle goes to table tennis, and that seems to be going well, too. The biggest challenge of all is for his mum to remember where he needs to go and where. Again, the positives of a small school come out. All these activities are free and taught by professional teachers/coaches from outside the school.
Business: It seems to be picking up a bit, which wouldn't be hard compared to last year. If only I had hours at a time free to think and arrange and update and promote. With kids around, you only get a minute or so before someone calls, which makes it hard to sit down and really concentrate on the hard stuff. With Richard going on a 10-day business trip recently, both kids sick (one after the other) and now Richard having to spend Saturdays at the car repair shop to fix his van (involved in four-car crash), as well as traveling to the inlaws' two days a week, I'm really running on the reserve battery. I often think of that line that became the slogan for bullying: It only gets better. Maybe tomorrow, I will get to sleep in after 6am, go to sleep before 1am, sleep all night or at least three hours straight without an interruption, or even go out alone. If not, at least I have people big and little in my life who need me. And a dog...
Friday, August 6, 2010
The Joy of Giving
I just came back from a very nice evening out with a good friend. I know she is a good friend because I could sit in a coffeeshop with one coffee and talk for literally hours! It's not easy to get me to sit like that for so long with one cup of coffee.
During the evening, we talked a little about charity and giving, and I have been inspired to write about my sponsored child.
When Kyle was born, I decided to sponsor a child. I found a child just two years old through Child Fund (Formerly CCF). Rajkumar is in India. When I started with this sponsorship, I didn't realise how attached I would grow to Rajkumar and his family, nor how such a small gift from me could mean so much to them. Each year I give the family 50USD to spend for Christmas and birthday. With that money, they buy their family of four new clothes, new bedding, school supplies, grains and meats, prepare a birthday party, AND save a little for their future needs. This giving has also made me look at our own children and what we give them. This year, I decided to buy them one gift each, and not from me but from the Birthday Fairy. The whole idea of the Birthday Fairy was more exciting than the presents, and the buildup lasted weeks. I am putting the "saved" money toward the cost of assisting Rajkumar and his family. It is truly a joy to assist this family. Even if we can't make a giant impact on poverty in general, we can do a little something now and then.
During the evening, we talked a little about charity and giving, and I have been inspired to write about my sponsored child.
When Kyle was born, I decided to sponsor a child. I found a child just two years old through Child Fund (Formerly CCF). Rajkumar is in India. When I started with this sponsorship, I didn't realise how attached I would grow to Rajkumar and his family, nor how such a small gift from me could mean so much to them. Each year I give the family 50USD to spend for Christmas and birthday. With that money, they buy their family of four new clothes, new bedding, school supplies, grains and meats, prepare a birthday party, AND save a little for their future needs. This giving has also made me look at our own children and what we give them. This year, I decided to buy them one gift each, and not from me but from the Birthday Fairy. The whole idea of the Birthday Fairy was more exciting than the presents, and the buildup lasted weeks. I am putting the "saved" money toward the cost of assisting Rajkumar and his family. It is truly a joy to assist this family. Even if we can't make a giant impact on poverty in general, we can do a little something now and then.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Going Home, Coming Home
I'm standing on two shores,
My tongue flicks Chinese, English,
A change of station.
I sympathize with both parties.
East Meets West,
My feet are on hot coals,
Jumping from shore to shore.
I wrote this in Singapore airport whilst waiting for the plane back to Taiwan, about ten years ago. It's still hard for me to grasp that I have been Taiwan over 15 years now. Last month, I took the children home to my parents' place for five weeks. I got to celebrate my first birthday with my parents in 20 years. Having left home at 17 to attend university, and then coming to Taiwan at 21, birthday celebrations at home just didn't work in with the schedule. I have to say, it was very nice celebrating with my parents. It just deepened the feeling of being split between two places, though. The children's desire to stay and play in New Zealand didn't help the tearing of the heart when stepping onto the plane at the end of the trip.
We've been back in Taipei almost a week. It's OK. It's just, sometimes you hope things change a little and you come back to new and exciting possibilities. So far, it hasn't been like that. We are still split between my inlaws' place and our cottage, and my business is still in need of attention. I still need to get into exercise and general healthy living and eating. There was no magic CHANGE FAIRY waving her wand while I was away. And, my heart hasn't all come with me this time. Maybe it will catch up and love Taipei again in a little while.
My tongue flicks Chinese, English,
A change of station.
I sympathize with both parties.
East Meets West,
My feet are on hot coals,
Jumping from shore to shore.
I wrote this in Singapore airport whilst waiting for the plane back to Taiwan, about ten years ago. It's still hard for me to grasp that I have been Taiwan over 15 years now. Last month, I took the children home to my parents' place for five weeks. I got to celebrate my first birthday with my parents in 20 years. Having left home at 17 to attend university, and then coming to Taiwan at 21, birthday celebrations at home just didn't work in with the schedule. I have to say, it was very nice celebrating with my parents. It just deepened the feeling of being split between two places, though. The children's desire to stay and play in New Zealand didn't help the tearing of the heart when stepping onto the plane at the end of the trip.
We've been back in Taipei almost a week. It's OK. It's just, sometimes you hope things change a little and you come back to new and exciting possibilities. So far, it hasn't been like that. We are still split between my inlaws' place and our cottage, and my business is still in need of attention. I still need to get into exercise and general healthy living and eating. There was no magic CHANGE FAIRY waving her wand while I was away. And, my heart hasn't all come with me this time. Maybe it will catch up and love Taipei again in a little while.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Insomnia
Over my years in Taiwan, I have had periods of time where I just can't/won't sleep until the depths of the night. I used to think this was particular to me, but have discovered that many expats in Taiwan suffer the same "problem". I don't know if it's the environment, or if it's something about the kinds of people who come to Taiwan and stay here. Because, over time I have found a large number of my friends are quite hyperactive or at least with overactive minds. This trait may be what makes Taiwan attractive to us, or what allows (or compels us) to stay here. On nights like this, I remember things like my dear friend Brian telling me how he thinks I would make a great smoker, and that it might temper my need to move and do things. And times when I would roam the streets at three or four in the morning, just unable to settle and not ready for the calm of the apartment. When I think of things like this, I kind of congratulate myself on the fact I have managed to live in a Taiwanese family for several years, with the boundaries imposed that really make it impossible to release much of the nervous tension that builds up from being in a pre-defined environment. Very recently, I have had the urge to write again, and to create. That feeling is like a ball inflating in my chest, being held down my the weight of something similar to water, yet thicker and darker. I have the desire, but no project, and as yet no creature has shown its face as a subject. Being stuck in this whirlpool of threatened unreleased energy brings a shadow to sleep and makes the bed rather unwelcoming. As my rather insightful father once said, "Katrina, boredom seems to create a dangerous situation for you."
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